Alcoholic Parents

My parents were not always alcoholics.
At least I remember my mother before the alcohol.
From as early as I can remember my father drank.
He drank up until the day he died!

I remember parties my parents had when I was young where friends would come over and they would drink and play games!
I remember us kids use to have our own game!
Seeing which of us could sneak drinks from their glasses without getting caught.
These early parties seemed always to be happy occasions and the worst thing I remember about any of them was my favorite stool being broken by an uncle who was drunk.

When it all changed I don't remember!
I do remember it was after I started school and we moved to the new house.

I remember sitting with my mother some evenings wondering when dad would come home and if he would remember to bring the things on the shopping list.
I remember my parents starting to go out more often together and leaving us under the supervision of my Oldest brother.
I remember hearing them argue when they came home.

I think the pivotal point for me was when there was a keg party at our farm ( I think I was 9 or 10) and my uncle invited me into his trailer to try some Baby Duck wine.
I drank the whole bottle!
I was very drunk and yet my mother insisted I eat some soup.
I remember being very sick and throwing up outside.
I passed out on the couch after.
I remember my parents arguing about it later that night.
I don't remember anything being done about it though.

Another memory is my brother Rick being passed out in the bathtub and my parents arguing about it.
This happened after but not sure what became of it.
I think this was one of the events that helped lead to the separation and divorce!

I use to hear my parents arguing and fighting a lot as a young child and every time they had been drinking.

I remember one night, where I was suppose to be sleeping, but woke up to hear my parents fighting outside through the open window.
I heard and saw physical blows being aimed at my mother!
I was terrified but knew there was nothing I could do:(
That was the night my father broke my mother's cheek bone!

I remember my mother use to "walk into a lot of doors"!
She was very good at hiding things from us kids and never really knew that I heard most of their fights.
I was good at hiding things too!

The clearest memory I have of my parents being drunk is when I was about 13.
I was in Grade 7, So I guess that would have made me 13.
After the separation but before the divorce.
My mother had gone out of town - to the farm, with my father.
They were trying to work things out!
I was suppose to be keeping an eye on my little brother.
They had phoned to say they were on their way back and it was very late at night.
I was sitting out on the swings in front of our condo waiting for them and worried!
The car pulled in and I looked to see if they were getting out.
They weren't so I walked over to see what was up!
They were both so intoxicated they couldn't seem to move on their own.
I helped them into the house by letting them lean on me and telling them to walk.
I was emotionally shut down and tried not to care!
After getting them into the house I went back to the swings.
I needed a smoke!
I didn't think my parents knew I smoked.
My mother came out of the house and said " You know you can smoke inside"
She stumbled back inside.
I thought - so she knows I smoke - I don't care!
I think that was what I told myself for years - I don't care!
But that night always sticks in my memory.
How they could have killed someone or themselves driving from the farm to the city!
How I had to be grown up and help them into the house!
How I could just not care about anything!
How I knew that night my "childhood" was over forever!

I know this is the last time I ever saw my mother and father drunk together!
I also know it marked the end of their ever getting back together!