Many people tell me the abuse is in the past and to just forget it and move on. But, Is it all past?
Here's my thoughts:
When I was 12, my mother left my father and took my younger brother and me with her. At that time I made a decision to forget everything from my past and blacked out all of it in my mind. I never started to remember all the abuse, except for the abuse I saw my mother go through, until I started to have children of my own. Every time I think I have remembered and dealt with everything, I discover something else that I blacked out. This opens old scars like they were fresh wounds.
An example of this is when I started to regain my memories of the sexual abuse and saw signs of it in my children, I simply thought that it was my mind showing me signs that were not there. I was very mistake! Yes, my daughters did suffer through sexual abuse, which was only uncovered by a child welfare worker and not me.
I learned many years ago that incidents that happen in our lives affect many decisions we make and how we interact with others. Even remembering and "dealing" with those memories sometimes does not change who we are inside and how we react. Thus, forgetting them is not an option for me anymore! As for "moving on", I only wish it was as easy as everyone seems to think it is. Unfortunately, for myself it isn't.
Yes, it all happened in the past and I am very thankful that it is no longer occurring in my life; but, remembering can make it seem like it happened yesterday! I still look forward to a day when there are no more "new" memories to pop up.